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One Side: Beth

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an audience. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the details, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the content we create together can get us: an opening. I understand not everyone enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal videographer, but companions help each other in minor capacities. I thought recording a clip now and then would be fun for her. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value our friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She must to honor her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some real experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their bond?